Hello, you know me as … well, that depends upon who is reading this, I guess. Among other things, my story involves “a case of identity”1, so successive chapters are notated by the moniker I was known by during at least PART of each period of my life.
“The Seven Pillars of Bob”2
A while back, some correspondence with a friend brought about a period of introspection, which led to my formulating a series of five pillars that I thought defined my core being. A little more introspection upped that to seven.
1. A deep-seated inferiority complex. As a younger sibling, I suspect I started with low esteem issues simply because my older brother was smarter and bigger than me. Even though I don’t think he ever consciously bossed me around, I naturally became a follower and generally felt of little import in the world. This also colored my romantic expectations: I had a series of crushes on attractive girls, even though I figured they were all forlorn hopes and the chances of any return of affection were nil. I also had very little ambition regarding my professional life – there were a few minor things I wished to do, but instead of seeking “top end” positions (like say, a faculty member) I was happy with jobs that I was, shall we say, overqualified for.
2. A bit of obsessive-compulsive behavior. This has been expressed in at least two ways: A) I’ve always hated even numbers, so for example I’d only eat only an odd number of cookies at a time, and when I began to carry money in high school, it would always total an odd amount (like $3.75). And although I’ve mostly grown out of this (I have no problem whatsoever when I collected $200 in twenties from an ATM), I still find slight pleasures when odd numbers pop up in my life. For example, I wasn’t overly pleased at my former address in Oakland: 80 Eucalyptus Road – even after struggling how to spell the name of the street, the “8-0” stuck in my craw. In contrast I absolutely adore my current house number: 5315 – a joy to behold with not an even number in sight. B) My tendency to collect entire series of things. For example, when I found a book I enjoyed, I did my damndest to read everything that author wrote, as well as read them in the order written – hence my complete collections of the works of Walt Kelly, Charles Schultz, Johnny Hart, Garry Trudeau, Berkeley Breathed, Jim Unger, C.J. Cherryh, Dorothy Sayers, Josephine Tey (author of The Daughter of Time – perhaps the best book I ever read), Ursula LeGuin, John le Carré, James Thurber, Douglas Adams, and Jasper Fforde. I suspect this behavior was also fundamental to my pillar #6.
3. An ever-present focus on love, specifically to get married. I’m sure there are some folks that consider settling down as a trap, but I always knew I wanted to be in a monogamous relationship. And looking for such a person played a big part in my life – if for no other reason, than making me depressed for decades as I struck out with one female after another. I regret that it took 33 years before I finally married, but the one redeeming point was that I at least avoided the pitfall of marrying too young, when hormones may have overridden common sense.
4. A keen sense of humor. I ascribe this to my dad, although he was more into pranks, while I tend more towards word play and repartee. In my teen years, instead of buying music records, I’d get those of Bill Cosby. I listened to a show on KGO radio that played routines from comedians and watched all the comedy TV shows I could find. Ned had a subscription for MAD magazine, and (as listed above) I bought a ton of humor books, while my favorite movies were comedies. Regretfully, my sense of humor may be over-developed – I can’t begin to count the times I made humorous remarks at inappropriate moments – but it was a very effective tool that kept my spirits up. Of course, different people find different things funny, so my list of favorite humorous “bits” is unlikely to coincide with anyone else, but those which stand out in my mind as the supreme comedies of modern time include (in a very rough chronological order): the poem Thais by Norman Levy (a parody of Massenet’s opera of the same name), P.G. Wodehouse’s collection of books (especially his Blandings Castle series – thank you Marjorie for introducing me to these books)3, Abbot & Costello’s classic sketch Who’s on First, the works (especially the commercials!) penned by Stan Freberg, Victor Borge’s antics at the piano, Walt Kelly’s series of Pogo books, Jay Ward’s Rocky & Bullwinkle Show, Peter Schickele’s New Horizons in Music Appreciation, Bill Cosby’s routine To Russell, My Brother Whom I Slept With, almost all of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, the TV show WKRP in Cincinnati (especially the two-episode story arc in season 4: Straight from the Heart and Who’s on First?), Tom Weller’s two tour-de-force books: Science Made Stupid and Cvltvre Made Stupid, Jasper Fforde’s series of Thursday Next novels (especially The Well of Lost Plots), and the online series of videos by Ze Frank: True Facts. I can’t even begin to list the “novelty” songs that I have enjoyed, but I will give a shout out to Flanders & Swann, Bob River’s Comedy Corps, as well as the Horrible Histories Monarch Song). Honestly, if you are ever in need of something to cheer you up, try one (or more) of these.
5. A love of the outdoors and nature. I probably got the “outdoors” part from my Dad – he always hated being cooped up indoors (having suffered from a form of claustrophobia after being “buried alive” in WWII). He mainly liked to play golf, a sport which I thought was OK, but I preferred activities like bike riding, cross country skiing, hiking, and hang gliding (which is a little weird because I have a slight fear of heights). I love the idea of camping, although I only went backpacking once4. However, my interest in natural history was unique in my family. I remember being interested in preserving the environment as early as elementary school, even though I knew damn all about how to do anything about it back then, nor had any resources/expertise to do much. That is, until college, when I first learned about insect pest management as a way to reduce the use of insecticides, and then Biological Control.
6. But just when I got my doctorate, I realized that my interest in BC was subsumed by a greater interest in the insects involved, and eventually I trended off into taxonomy. Studying insects both shaped my professional career and provided me with the enjoyable life-long hobby of insect collecting. It was also a great vehicle to further my almost insatiable desire to categorize and organize things.
7. Curiosity. Thus, when a topic comes up that interests me, I can get sidetracked and delve into that topic, rather than follow along on my original train of thought. This is what makes me a good candidate for the categorization of “scientist.” It also is why should never play poker – rather than folding when the cards suggest I do so, I often felt compelled to stay in, just to see what my opponents are holding5.
Finally, this IS an Introduction, and in true introductions, the parties exchange information. So, I figure I have done my part here, but dear readers, I know next to nothing about you (other than you obviously have a discriminating taste in reading material, are sensitive, creative, and enjoy long walks on the beach). But I would love to hear more – all you have to do is to drop me a line (c/o Luigi Fercotti, at: PO Box 112358, San Quentin, CA 94964) … and be sure to include an offering of at least $25.00 to cover handling costs and sundry expenses (checks should be made payable to CASH).
1 Apologies to Arthur Conan Doyle.
2 Those who know me as an adult may protest that I have omitted what might be considered an 8th pillar: my inordinate love of food (especially chocolate). However, that facet developed only later in life, and thus was not something that influenced me during my formative years.
3 One of my favorite passages in English literature appears in Wodehouse’s Something Fresh: “He did not see Baxter. He was not even thinking of Baxter. But Baxter was on the alert. Baxter was on the war-path. Baxter knew.” Even if you have no idea what the story is about, this style of writing draws one in.
4 Discussed in Chapter 3, section 1.
5 See Chapter 4, footnote 1.